| the one with the introduction. |
[15 Dec 2009|03:22pm] |
So, here I am. Hello, Westerlo University. Hello, Albany, New York. I’m Meagan Renee Wilson, but seriously, call me Meag. I just transferred here for the spring semester, but I figured I’d move down early because I really don’t want to be in Texas and I really don’t want to be in Ohio. The reason I don’t want to be home in San Antonio is because even after all of these years, it sucks. It’s pretty damn hard having your twin brother around all the time and then just, you know, not. I mean, we even shared the fucking womb. I’m still really fucking bitter. I’m still really angry at Daniel. It’s something I should’ve gone to therapy for years ago, but I’m too scared to face it. If I’m away from home, it doesn’t seem real. It’s just so.. morbid going home. His room is exactly how he left it and it just took such a toll on my family. Well, obviously, but like I don’t know, everyone is just different now. I just miss him so much every day. I don’t need to constant reminders of my house to make it worse.
Ohio is just probably the worst place on the entire planet. Honestly, I would’ve transferred as a freshman but my mom wanted me to wait it out and see how I felt. She just didn’t want me to make a mistake. As annoying as it was, I guess it was understandable. I just got too lazy to transfer after that because I had a few good friends there. My boys were awesome and I had a few.. girl friends. It was just really difficult at Miami University because all of the girls were such biddies. Like, all they cared about was shopping and doing their make-up and ugh. Sure, I wear make-up and I do like clothes (except I HATE shopping) but it’s not my entire life. I remember after the first week of classes I went back to my dorm room and was so stressed out. I sat down at my desk thinking all I wanted was a beer and my bitchy roommate waltzes in complaining about how horrible her day was and how all she wanted to do was shop. Really?
The only good part about Miami University was the games. I know I probably sound like such a guy, but I love sports. Ever since I was a little girl, my dad and my brother would watch football, basketball, hockey.. just about everything, eat pizza and chill. It was our time and since then, I’ve had such a love for sports. I play basketball, but I’m not the most coordinated person in the world. So, I can’t really play sports all that well but I love to watch them. I’m the girl at the game with face paint covering her face, screaming her head off at the refs. I guess I’m kind of embarrassing.
Anyway, I’m sure you might be wondering why Westerlo? Well, actually, probably not. But I just was so fed up with Miami. I couldn’t handle being around so many bitches. I would talk to Cheyenne about it all the time. Literally, all the time. She would tell me stories about her school and how much fun it was and how nice all of her friends were. I just figured, what the hell. I’ve never been to New York and I thought it’d be a good experience. Plus, I could be with my best friend and actually have a good time for once.
So, there you have it. I’m Meag. I like sports, comedies, beer and my guilty pleasure is Taylor Swift. Don’t hate. Oh, and I don’t like to brag, so my bitches brag for me.
Oh, and also my New Year's resolution this year is going to be to start going to therapy. I've been in this depressive funk since it all happened and it's been way to long. But, the thing is, I've had the same New Year's resolution for years. It's never once happened. It's like, I'll always make the appointment. Some years I've even gone, but once I'm there I freeze. I chicken out. The last thing I want to talk about is Daniel. I hate crying. I hate looking weak. Fuck, I'm such an asshole.
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